i am, without any doubt, a "daddy's girl." if you were to ask anyone in my family, or anyone who has spent any time with my family, they would confirm this without hesitation. i'm not sure if it's because my father and i share our faith, our personality traits [sticklers for grammar and diction], or just general temperament - it's equally likely that i would be a "daddy's girl" even if we were worlds apart, just because he's my father and i am his daughter.
once, when i was struggling over a diamond decision, he gave me the best relationship advice ever:
the person you ought to marry is the person who makes you want to be the best you - the most authentic, amazing version of yourself.
i have yet to hear a better summation of how to know if your other half is right. and by right, i mean spiritually correct. a perfect alignment of heart and bone and gut knowledge. so, i handed back that first engagement ring. it wasn't because that man, who is a kind, warm soul deserving of every happiness, was bad for me in any traditional sense. he cared for me. i cared for him.
but i was not the most luminous me.
there has not been a moment, since that hefty gem tumbled from my palm back into his, in which i questioned that decision. i knew it was right. i knew it was right with the same certainty with which i know that i have since married the right man. he is a kind and warm soul, too. he is also the roots of myself: a woman who sees sunshine even through clouds, where once all i could see was rain and lightning.
when i see people - friends, family - wrapped into relationships that are self-defined as "logical" or that "make sense," i wince inwardly. rationality is not a bad framework for making choices. in fact, i heartily encourage it when you're making choices about cars or bank accounts or whether to carry an umbrella on your walk. but with the right relationship, logic is [in my experience] secondary to simple, illuminating conviction. you shouldn't need to appeal to reason to justify a shared future.
you should just shine, together. sometimes sun, sometimes moon, but always linked by light.
